From Scrabble to Spiritual Growth: The Power of Sharpening Relationship

When I was young, my mother and I would play Scrabble. It was a weekly, if not sometimes daily, game we would engage in to spend time together and pass the time. As we played, my vocabulary and spelling skills would improve, and you could see the evidence of this in the way I spoke and wrote.

The days of frequent Scrabble games have long since passed as I have grown, moved away, and started a family of my own. However, the other night, I found myself longing for our Scrabble game nights. Not only do I just miss the time with my mom, but since those days, I have felt my spelling and vocabulary skills dull and that is what happens, if we don’t use it we loose it. This can happen in our spiritual lives as well. If we do not have people to help us keep building our spiritual disciplines (Proverbs 27:17)  we will grow dull in our spiritual lives and we will be unable to run the race to win (1 Corinthians 9:24-27). 

In Proverbs 27:17 Scriptures say, “ As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” A few things take place during the sharpening process. One, it is an intentional and mutual process, it takes effort, it is not a passive process, it can be uncomfortable, and finally, it molds us into something useful so we can serve out our God given purpose. 

It is an Intentional and Mutual Process

In Ephesians 4:12 and 1 Corinthians 12:1-11, we are told that we are all given gifts to equip each other to do the work and will of God. The Greek word for “equipping” in Ephesians 4:12 is the word katartismos, which means mending or perfecting. We are given talents and gifts to lift each other up, to help heal wounds, and to push each other closer to Christ. This is not a process that just happens. It happens when we hold each other accountable, when we push each other to grow in our spiritual disciplines.

The Process gets hot and uncomfortable

The process of taking Iron and sharpening it into a blade is one where the metal is heated, hammered, twisted, and ground until it takes shape and becomes sharp and useful as the tool it was intended to be. The same process is needed to make us into the tool for Christ we were always meant to be. Sometimes this process looks like trials and tribulations in our life, but sometimes it looks like a brother or sister in Christ coming alongside us and correcting us, holding us accountable, and pushing us past our comfort zone. 

When iron is being sharpened, sparks fly. If your friendship is so comfortable that your friend never corrects you, never pushes you, and sparks never fly, then most likely this relationship is also not helping you grow. When is the last time your friend at church asked you how your scripture memorization was going? Or when was the last time you checked in on your sister in Christ on her struggles with gossiping? We need each other not just for company but for growth.

The sharpening process molds us

In 1 Corinthians 9:2,4 Paul tells us that life is like a race and that we must demonstrate self-control to win the prize and not be disqualified. Paul may be talking about a personal sin (as mentioned in the MacArthur study Bible commentary); however, I believe we can learn a lesson from Paul’s life here. To live like Christ and be used for God’s kingdom here and in eternity, we must learn self-discipline. This is an area where it can be helpful to have a good friend or mentor. Someone to keep you accountable and push you closer to the goal of being the very best reflection of Christ we can be. Isn’t that the ultimate goal to be like Christ? The ultimate prize is to be who God created us to be with purpose.

It may be hard work, and it can get hot and uncomfortable, but as we help others grow, we too will grow closer to the image of who God created us to be. We will be molded into a self-disciplined runner who races toward the end prize in heaven, and isn’t that worth all the hard work and uncomfortable moments?

How to Sharpen and Be Sharpened

• Find someone you trust who will be honest with you and will push you to grow. (Proverbs 27:17). Don’t be afraid to initiate an open and honest conversation with those closest to you.
• Hold each other accountable in areas of weakness. (Galatians 6:1-2)
• Work on developing a humble heart that welcomes correction.
• Teach each other how to be good wives, mothers, friends, etc. ( Titus 2:3-5)
• Find someone and be someone who is “of a gentle and quiet spirit,” emphasizing inner beauty over outer looks or material things. (1 Peter 3:4)
• Pray together (Matthew 18:20)
• Confess your sins to one another to help bring healing(James 5:16)
• Schedule regular check-ins with accountability partners.

Running the Race Together

In 1 Thessalonians Paul encourages the believes who are going through persecution to encourage one another and to build each other up. God created us to live in unity with Him and each other. Whether in the good times or the hard times we need each other; to build each other up, to push each other to growth, and to hold each other accountable as we learn to discipline ourselves and become better reflection of Christ. So grab your girl friends or your mentor and get to running the “race marked out for you” (Hebrews 12:2).