But You Don’t Look Sick”: Replacing Unhelpful Clichés with God’s Truths

Myths We Hear

Life with chronic illness is filled with ups and downs. When you’re in the deep pit of suffering and you reach out for help only to be met with “spiritual” clichés, it can sting and leave you feeling like “less than.”

If you’re a friend or loved one of someone with chronic illness, here are a few clichés to avoid. Instead, let’s replace them with God’s Word to help fill your loved one’s life with more of Jesus and His truths.

1. The “Just Have More Faith (or Pray More)” Myth

When I was sitting in that Bible study years ago, this first myth made its first appearance. A well-meaning member suggested that I needed to have more faith and pray harder in order to be healed. This suggestion left me feeling like I needed to *earn* healing, putting the entire burden of it on me.

This, however, is not reality. Jesus is the healer, not me. It is in His timing, whether that’s on Earth or in heaven. Sometimes healing doesn’t come and that’s okay; it is not a reflection of our faith.

The reality is that there are examples both in the Bible and throughout Church history of people of faith who didn’t receive healing while here on earth:

Timothy had stomach issues.
Trophimus got sick.
Paul had a “thorn in his side,” often thought to be an illness of some sort.

If it was true for people in the Bible, then it’s true for us, too. As Jesus made clear, such things happen so that the work of God may be displayed. Through illness, God’s power can work, and sin is not always the cause, as seen in the story of Job. Illness and suffering are not a punishment, but rather a canvas for God to display His power and grace.

2. The “Strongest Warrior” Myth

Another popular cliché is, “God gives His toughest battles to His strongest warriors.” While this is almost always said by well-meaning people just trying to be encouraging, it never ceases to have the opposite effect.

This is unhelpful for a couple of reasons:
1.  It romanticizes illness and pain.
2.  It makes it sound like we have a superpower others do not.

When we are in a flare-up or really struggling, we feel anything but like warriors. God does not choose us because we are strong; He chooses us to show His power in our weakness. As 2 Corinthians 12:9 says, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

3. The “Hidden Sin” Myth

The last myth we will address is perhaps the most damaging and unscriptural cliché of all: the idea that illness is a direct result of personal sin.

The Cliché: “There must be unconfessed sin in your life holding back your healing.”

The Lie: This suggestion often comes veiled in spiritual language, implying that if you just dig deep enough, confess enough, or repent enough, your body will be restored. It creates a relentless cycle of shame, guilt, and self-blame, forcing you to constantly search for a spiritual “reason” for physical suffering. It’s a burden no one should have to carry.

What Jesus Says About Sin and Suffering
The disciples themselves wrestled with this very question. In John 9, they encountered a man blind from birth and asked Jesus,
“Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?”

Jesus’ answer cuts through centuries of misguided theology:

“Neither this man nor his parents sinned,” said Jesus, “but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in him.” (John 9:3)

Think about that for a moment. Jesus, the Healer Himself, directly refutes the link between sin and this man’s suffering. He makes it clear that illness is not always a direct punishment for sin. We live in a fallen world, and sometimes, illness is simply a part of that brokenness. God can use any circumstance to display His glory. Even in suffering—especially when it seems senseless—God is at work, revealing His power and grace.

This truth is echoed in the story of Job. His friends endlessly tried to convince him that his suffering was due to some hidden sin, yet God’s ultimate vindication of Job proved them wrong. Job’s suffering was a canvas for God’s power.

Finding Freedom from the Blame Game

If you have ever felt the crushing weight of searching for sin as the “cause” of your chronic illness, lay that burden down today. Jesus already carried the weight of our sins on the cross. Your illness is not a reflection of your spiritual standing.

Instead of hunting for sin, fix your eyes on the Savior. Rest in the knowledge that you are fully seen, fully known, and fully loved—not because of what you’ve done, but because of who He is. Your worth is not determined by your health, but by your identity as His cherished child.

Takeaway

Sometimes when people don’t know what to say, they turn to clichés to try and bring encouragement, and sometimes those can sting. These moments can also be a time to show grace and gently help others understand what God really says about pain, suffering, and disability.

I just want anyone who is suffering to know: God is not disappointed in your “less.” He is the “more” that fills the gaps. You aren’t a project; you are His child.

Finding grace in the gaps

Let’s continue the conversation in the comments below.

How are you redefining “healing” in your own life today?

How do you personally distinguish between being “cured” physically and “healed spiritually?

Which of these myths have been the hardest for you to navigate in your personal faith journey?